If there was an earth exactly the same as the one we live in and everyone had a twin- would I do the exact same things as I have done on this earth? Would I befriend the same people, make the same choices?
This is a question I often ponder as I don’t think I have any regrets, however I do think there were things I would react differently to. For instance- I would learn at an earlier age to say no as I think this is a great skill to have. I would also learn to say goodbye to things earlier and not hold on to bad relationships for so long.
I find this question is very helpful when giving advice to others, or even figuring out things for myself. It’s a really great way to start to identify values and things that are important to me.
Have you ever tried this thought experiment? If so, what conclusions did you make?
Inspired by popular internet lists here are the top 5 questions I get after telling people I am a fraternal twin.
- Q: So are you identical? A: Nope- he’s a boy, I’m a girl that’s why I said fraternal.
- Q: How old is your twin? A: Same age as me- we’re twins
- Q: Who is older? A: He is, by 10 minutes and won’t let me forget.
- Q: Are you going to your brothers birthday party?A: It’s OUR birthday. I’ll be there.
- Q: So you are identical right? A: eyeroll.
Our self and our social media self are two different people. By this, I mean that we have our social media selves- a highly curated self we choose to present the world. Then we have our actual selves, who are flawed, and unfiltered. I personally struggle with social media- it’s important to be active but I also love my privacy. I hate putting myself out there in a permanent way. I dislike algorithms, data collection and ads that are personalized to my latest google.
I wish I had an identical twin who loved social media- who wanted to put herself out there in a curated and manicured way. I wish I liked the fact that all we see is this false versions of people and peoples self esteem is tuned into how many likes or how much attention they get on social media.
Simply put, I struggle with this aspect of social media. While it’s been great for opening up communication, and easy access to peoples lives- how much of it is real?
I love my privacy, I love that when I catch up with friends it’s genuine and I not because I have creeped their every move and thought. I miss this authentic interactions, and while social media does make it easy to see what people who live elsewhere are doing- what is the cost.
I believe that privacy is a virtue and so is authenticity and that is why my social media in a way is an identical twin- looks the same, thinks the same, only she is highly curated, manicured, perfect and living the dream.
I like to think there is a little bit of “twin” in everyone. What I mean by this, is that twins never stop being compared and all people in a sense never stop comparing themselves to those around them. I think the best way to approach everything is balanced- that most things can be divisible or divided into parts.
Twin life is more so a metaphor to the fact we are all multifaceted. We all have an “evil” or not so good part to us, and we all have really great aspects to our character. I think finding a balance to all of this is truly a key to success- work/life balance, spouse and friends balance, savings and spending balance. If you can balance out these opposite things in most areas of your life, you will most likely be incredibly successful.
I love the idea of the Yin and Yang symbol- it’s very clear that each side needs the other one to be whole, and there is a little part of the opposite side in each. I think it is a wonderful metaphor and one that hold so much power and wisdom for today’s society. The busier we get, the harder it is to find balance, but balance is key and when it is found can create great success, happiness and ease stress.
My key tips for finding balance include:
- Making time to Plan:- this means planning my planning which can seem so mundane but if I want to have a successful week, this means I take the time to plan it out that includes fun things, social activities and time of myself.
- Knowing when to say no- to me if I am finding myself overwhelmed, it means learning to say no as much as I say yes. I am very much a Yes person, and I hate missing out on fun activities, but I can’t be a good friend or a fun time if I am exhausted from everything else I am doing. A “no” is a powerful tool that can go a long way.
- Not feeling guilt over being selfish: if I am not taking time for myself then in the end I can’t take time for others because this will manifest itself in unfortunate ways. I have learned to stop feeling guilty when I just want to hang out by myself and this has made me a better friend.
I hope you all can find balance and that my tips can assist you with this! Feel free to leave a comment if you have any tips for finding your own balance in life!
I recently showed up to a bar in a red plaid shirt and jeans, then 3 of my other friends showed up in red plaid shirt and jeans. Is this the unofficial uniform of the Pacific Northwest? It certainly is, but it is still so fun to have a table full of everyone dressed the same.
Twinning has become a popular social media hashtag used when people are in the same outfit, or very similar outfits- usually not on purpose. In our case it was not planned but ended up being a great time! Other people who were at the bar in red plaid ended up coming over to sit with us as a joke and soon we had about 12 people! We certainly got a lot of attention, but we also made a lot of friends simply due to similar outfits and the love of good craft beer.
To be “twinning” doesn’t just apply to people but also when people match objects around them. Overall, in such a hectic world it really is fun to find similarities with the things around you. I think it’s such a phenomenon because naturally our eyes are drawn to pattern and similarity, so when we catch this unexpectedly it can be comforting. In place like Vancouver, where red plaid and denim is a standard look, it’s still a fun way to create a sense of unity in “no fun city”. 🙂
In the hit song “work” by Rihanna ft Drake, Drake mentions a line that reads “if you had a twin I would still choose you” which naturally made me realize Drake was talking directly to me and is in love with me as much as I love him….a girl can hope.
However, the line did make me think about all the additional choices being a twin puts on people. There is a lot of extra choices parents of twins have to make; such a separating twins into different classes in school, or choosing to buy two of the same clothes or not. In the case of this song, Drake, while attempting to be romantic actually touches on a heated topic for most twins- not being our own person.
It can be hard at times to tell identical twins apart- or even fraternal twins as they have the same DNA and grew up in the same environment. However, I must say it is VERY important to distinguish twins and treat each as their own person. I cannot tell you how important this validation was from people who knew us both. It is easy to compare twins and confuse them, but each child should be treated as their own person and not just one part of a half.
I am a twin and so much of who I am today was shaped from being a twin growing up.
First and foremost, twins are ALWAYS compared. I suppose parents can’t really help it, after all you have two babies the exact same age and same environment, they should be the same right?
As a twin, this constant comparison made us both incredible competitive. For grades, attention, friends, you always had one person to directly compete against. To this day I am still competitive and I think much of it has to do with being a twin.
However not all personality traits associated with twins are a bad thing. As a twin you learn to share everything quite early- birthdays, toys, presents. To this day I still get uncomfortable having a birthday to just myself since that day is so much “our” birthday in my mind.
As a twin you grow up being a team player since you grow up on half a of team. You grow up with an automatic best friend (and enemy at times). I would say much of being a twin is ingrained in who I am today.
While my twin and I live in different cities (Toronto and Vancouver) a lot of who I am is still tied into he is as a person. We are independent but all my friends know him and all of his friends know me. It’s hard to be apart but a great growth opportunity. If anything, being a twin I know I always have a best friend, and ideally an organ donor to get through life with.
The best way to analyze twins in popular culture today is to first look at their history throughout time.
Twins have held a long and storied history and play an important role in many cultures and religion. Twins are viewed as either two halves of a whole or as polarized pairings.
In Greek mythology twins were conceived when the woman slept with both a mortal and a God in the same day . This means that twins were more Godly than most, created from special circumstances, rare.
Twins are often portrayed in a dichotomy to explain life itself. For example- Apollo and Artemis are the sun and the moon. In order to explain the phenomena of day and night mythology turned to twins to makes sense of dualism found in nature.
It would appear twins have always held a special place in culture. They have always been a unique phenomena looked at as a mystical entity in the universe. This twin worship is still apparent in popular culture today- showing itself in the marketability of twins.
It seems these days being a twin is not just a shared birthday, but also a honored career choice. As a twin myself, I am a little jilted I didn’t think of this to begin with. Unfortunately, my twin is a boy and this means we are fraternal- but it seems identical twin girls can make a career out of being twins, just look at Mary-Kate and Ashley.
This season on the bachelor there were girls whose jobs were “twins”. Most girls on the show have jobs like “pet nanny” or “makeup aficionado” but these girls were “twins”. Plain and simple. I wish being a fraternal twin was just as lucrative.
Perhaps being a fraternal twin isn’t as lucrative as being an identical twin because there is no mystery to exoticism to it. As a fraternal twin you look different and lack all of the special powers identical twins seem to have.
I like to think as twins become more popular due to an increase in invitro and fraternity drugs that the idealism of the twin will become less exotic as it is replaced with triplets, quadruplets and sextuplets. One day we will see sextuplets as a career on the bachelor and being a twin will no longer be a source of income.